Ferrari For Collateral:
This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan. The Indian man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000".
The Indian replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"
Posted by - Anitha VN
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Of Married Men And Their Wives:
1. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
2. My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met.
3. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
4. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
5. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
6. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine".
7. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
8. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
9. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
10. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
11. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
12. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
13. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
1. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
2. My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met.
3. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
4. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
5. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
6. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine".
7. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
8. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
9. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
10. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
11. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
12. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
13. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
If Microsoft Made Cars:
At a computer expo Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the automotive industry by stating:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and get 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bills comment, General Motors issued a press release making the following statement:
"If we (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice per day.
2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3) Your car would occasionally stop on the freeway without reason. In order to get started again, you would have to pull off to the side of the road; close all the windows shut off the car restart it and open all the windows again. For some unknown reason, you would simply do this without question.
4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person could use the car at one time unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT", but then you would also have to buy more seats.
6) The new seats you would need would force everyone to have the same size butt.
7) You would press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
8) The oil warning light, water warning light, and alternator warning light would all be replaced by a single "Unidentified System Error" light.
9) The air bag would ask your freshly mangled body, “are you sure" before going off.
10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back in until you simultaneously lifted the driver side door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11) The radio antenna would be internally mounted on the passenger side of the car.
12) Buying a new car would force you to also purchase a new set of Deluxe Rand McNally road maps, despite the fact that you neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause your cars performance to diminish by 50% or more.
13) Every time GM introduced a new car, people would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the old controls would function in the new car.
14) Macintosh would make a car that was five times faster, ten times more reliable and easier to maintain, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads."
At a computer expo Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the automotive industry by stating:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and get 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bills comment, General Motors issued a press release making the following statement:
"If we (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice per day.
2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3) Your car would occasionally stop on the freeway without reason. In order to get started again, you would have to pull off to the side of the road; close all the windows shut off the car restart it and open all the windows again. For some unknown reason, you would simply do this without question.
4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person could use the car at one time unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT", but then you would also have to buy more seats.
6) The new seats you would need would force everyone to have the same size butt.
7) You would press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
8) The oil warning light, water warning light, and alternator warning light would all be replaced by a single "Unidentified System Error" light.
9) The air bag would ask your freshly mangled body, “are you sure" before going off.
10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back in until you simultaneously lifted the driver side door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11) The radio antenna would be internally mounted on the passenger side of the car.
12) Buying a new car would force you to also purchase a new set of Deluxe Rand McNally road maps, despite the fact that you neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause your cars performance to diminish by 50% or more.
13) Every time GM introduced a new car, people would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the old controls would function in the new car.
14) Macintosh would make a car that was five times faster, ten times more reliable and easier to maintain, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads."
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Middle-Aged Women Complaining About Sex:
Here is an absolutely hilarious article I came across about women complaining about sex.
Don't know about who has written it but is really very funny.
Here is an absolutely hilarious article I came across about women complaining about sex.
Don't know about who has written it but is really very funny.
RANT: Middle-Aged Women complaining about sex!
Date: 2007-02-14, 11:44AM CST
I am sooooo f'ing tired about middle-aged women who complain about sex! First off, as a guy, we have so much pressure on us to perform it's unreal! Can I get a "hard on"? How long can I last? Can I make her orgasm SEVERAL times? Can I stay awake afterwards?!!!!! WTF!!! Do you women realize the enormous amount of work needed to have sex at 40?!!!!!
Let's go back to our teenage years WHEN I COULDN'T KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF YOU!!! Recall when I wanted to have sex in the stairway, at the bus stop, during gym under the bleachers, after school before my parents got home, in the parked car, and even climb through your window at night while your parents were asleep?!!!! AND THAT WAS ALL IN ONE DAY!!! Hell, I could last for hours, shoot my load, and be ready to go again in 15 minutes!!! But what did I hear from you, a young, demure, selfish, cock tease?!!! "No...wait till tomorrow.", "Let's just cuddle.", "The cat is watching.", and the classic "Is that all you think I'm good for?"!!!!!
Well ladies, the shoe is on the other foot and guess what? I'm tired!!! I'm tired from sheer exhaustion of chasing your cock teasing ass for the last 25 years!!!! Constantly, going home with "blue balls" and "whacking off" because you want me to "respect you in the morning"!!!! Well guess what years of cock abuse has done to my sex drive?!!!!
Yes ladies, it's your fault I have no interest in sex! Not getting any and whacking off to porn for 25 years has desensitized my nerve endings to the point that I feel nothing from my navel to my knees!!!! Fantasizing about every possible way of f'ing your brains out has distorted reality for me!!! You, walking in with nothing on under a fur coat pales in comparison to me fantasizing about you rimming my ass while I fuck your sister in front of 18,000 adoring fans at the
It's your fault for teasing away the most potent years of my life. You should have taken advantage of my erections from your cat jumping on my crotch when you had the chance, but nooooooo!!!! You wanted to babysit your neice and "pretend" we were a family!!!!
Now, in the height of your sex drive, you want muah to pin your legs behind your ears after a long day at work, and give it to you for more than 10 minutes a month?!!!!! PUH-LEASE!!!! Nope! You see...now you will suffer the same inglorious defeat I experienced many moons ago. So....go to 'The Exotic Emporium', get yourself a multi-speed, gyrating, flesh feeling, thingamabob, a handful of Peter North dvds, and come up with creative ways to sneak around the house and have yourself a little "Par-tay"!!!! Otherwise, be prepared to wine me, dine me, take me golfing, and stroke my little ego until I'M IN THE MOOD!!!
And...don't give me that crap about going out and getting some "young, dumb, and full of cum" kid. I'll divorce your ass so fast your fallopians will get twisted!!! AND afterward, I will get the chance to re-live those glory years with some young, nubile, tight bodied, coed looking for a sugar daddy! (Even if it is once a month!) Better than thinking of her while trying to have sex with your old, sagging, "has-been" ass!!!
So, the next time you think about making some smart ass remark like, "Mr. 5 minute man.", or "I didn't even get started." just remember that 25 years of neglect is the reason why Mr. Willie doesn't get excited to see you anymore!!!!
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