Penny, Brandy And ...

Three pastors and their wives were driving back from a revival when suddenly their van slid off the side of a cliff. Sadly, they were all killed.

At the Pearly Gates, Peter called the first couple forward. Looking through his book, Peter looked up at the first preacher and said sharply, "You hypocrite! All you ever cared about in your life was money! You've preached many times, 'Money is evil, money won't buy you happiness, money this, money that.' Yet you've hoarded money all your life! You were the wealthiest person in your whole community. In fact, you were so consumed with money that you married a woman named Penny, isn't that so?" he demanded.

Obviously shaken, the preacher meekly responded, "Y-yes sir, that's true."

"Well, you did preach the gospel, so I won't send you off to you know where, but you don't get to come in the front gate. You have to walk all the way around heaven and enter in the back door. Off you go!"

And the couple went shamefully on their way.

St. Peter leered at the next pastor and yelled, "And you! All you ever talked and cared about was alcohol! You often preached. "The bottle this, the bottle that." Yet, you've been drunk nearly every time you've preached. In fact, you were so consumed with alcohol and drinking that you married a woman named Brandy, isn't that so?" he accused.

The pastor only nodded in shame.

"Well, you also preached a powerful sermon -- despite being drunk -- so no hell for you either. But you don't get to come in the front gate either. You have to walk all the way around heaven and enter the back door. Off with you!"

And the couple slowly shuffled off.

"And you! " St. Peter began.

The third pastor held up his hand to silence St. Peter and turned to his wife and said, "We'd better start walking, Fanny."

Bad Parrot:

Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behavior".

Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?"

Golf Balls:

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thought-fully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Divorced Barbie:

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.

He drove to the shopping centre and ran to the toyshop and he asked the manager: "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied: "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes shopping' for $19.95 'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95, and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00."

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" the dad asked.

"Divorced Barbie' comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture," replied the manager.

The World Without Engineers:

Aeronautical Engineering:

Civil Engineering:

Communications Engineering:

Computer Engineering:

Electronics Engineering:

Mechanical Engineering:

Meet The World:

Truth: This was a campaign started by magazine Revista Grande Reportagem which is a Hard Journalism magazine. The idea was to bring across the concept that the magazine offers profound journalism about topics of real importance to the world of today.

This is how they thought of the concept "Meet the World".

They started to research relevant, global, and current facts and, thus, came up with the idea to put new meanings to the colours of the flags and used real data taken from the websites of Amnesty International and the UNO.

The campaign has been running in Portugal since January 2005. There are eight flags that portray very current topics like the division of opinions about the war in Iraq in the United States, the violence against women in Africa, the social inequality in Brazil, the drug trafficking in Columbia, Aids and malaria in Angola, etc.

Hoax: A Norwegian diplomat, Charung Gollar, was asked to present the UN with a graphic presentation showing the main problems in the world in 2004.

He presented a set of 8 pictures entitled “The power of stars” and was applauded for the simplicity of his idea. In spite of having no pretension at all, his work was presented to participate to the Nobel Prize of Political Marketing.

Attached are the 8 pictures presented. Read the legends…

(Click the Pictures for a Larger View)

Angola:

Brazil:

Burkina Faso:

China:

Colombia:

European Union:

Somalia:

USA: