Diary Of A Blonde Wife:

*Monday:*

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.


*Tuesday:*

We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.


*Wednesday:*

I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.


*Thursday:*

Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.


*Friday:*

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all
ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place.
There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I
came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.


*Saturday:*

Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work,or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me?"

Hmmm....It must be his job.

Posted by - Prabir

Normal Vs Geek:

NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GEEK : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.


NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GEEK : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.


NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
GEEK : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.


NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
GEEK : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.


NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
GEEK : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.


NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
GEEK : Neophyte's serendipity.


NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
GEEK : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
GEEK : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.


NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
GEEK : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.


NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
GEEK : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.


NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
GEEK : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.


NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks
GEEK : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.


NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
GEEK : Surveillance should precede saltation.


NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
GEEK : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.


NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GEEK : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.


NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
GEEK : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Posted by: Jo

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Posted by - Nick