What Women Say And What They Actually Mean:

I) "CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?" - There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

II) "I JUST NEED SOME SPACE" - Without you in it!

III) "DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?" - We haven't had a fight in a while.

IV) "NO, PIZZA'S FINE" - You cheap slob!

V) "I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW" - I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

VI) "I DON'T KNOW; WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?" - I can't believe you have nothing planned.

VII) "COME HERE" - My puppy does this too.

VIII) "I LIKE YOU, BUT" - I don't like you.

IX) "YOU NEVER LISTEN" - You never listen!

X) "WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY" - I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out is this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

XI) "I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE" - I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

XII) "OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF" - I'm just being nice; there is no way I'm going dutch.

XIII) "OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE" - Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

XIV) "I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS" - We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.