Be Strong:

An escaped convict breaks into a house and gets in the bedroom, ties husband to the chair and wife on bed. He then jumps on top of the bed, kisses wife's ear and goes to the bathroom.

Husband, now really scared, tells wife," Sweetheart!!! You better do whatever he says or he'll kill both of us. I saw the way he kissed you.... be strong and don't forget.... I love you!!!

Wife in an equally worried tone," He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he's gay and is looking for Vaseline. I told him that it's in the bathroom.... you be strong and I love you!!!