Mail from a frustrated victim of spamming:

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain mails to me in 2004 & 2005.
Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for the fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I've stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks out of fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone out of fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I'd get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I've also stopped drinking anything out of a can for the fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine accidentally got mixed into it.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

*Tired of calling Divya Singh (Siemens employee) who needs help for her hubby suffering from Lung cellular cancer especially when she was not married!!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on your head today at 5:30pm.