TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T:

10. "Nuts...My shaft is bent."

9. "After 18 holes I can barely walk."

8. "You really whacked the hell out of that sucker."

7. "Look at the size of his putter."

6. "Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more."

5. "Mind if I join your threesome?"

4. "Stand with your back turned and drop it."

3. "My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip."

2. "Nice stroke, but your! follow through has a lot to be desired."

1. "Hold up...I need to wash my balls first."