What Would Relax Me:

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.

Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."

All the passengers hear it.

As a stewardess immediately begins to run towards the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says, "Don’t forget the coffee!"