Woman's Guide To What A Man Is Really Saying:

I) I'M HUNGRY - I'm hungry.

II) I'M SLEEPY - I'm sleepy.

III) I'M TIRED - I'm tired.

IV) I'VE GOTTA PEE - Get out of the way.

V) CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

VI) DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

VII) CAN I GET YOUR COAT? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

VIII) LET ME GET YOUR DOOR - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

IX) MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

X) YOU LOOK TENSE, LET ME GIVE YOU A MASSAGE - I want to fondle you.

XI) WHAT'S WRONG? - I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

XII) I'M BORED - Do you want to have sex?

XIII) I LOVE YOU TOO - Ok, I said it. We'd better have sex now!

XIV) YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR - I liked it better before.

XV) LET'S TALK - I'm trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

XVI) WILL YOU MARRY ME? - I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.