How Old Am I:

A woman decides to have a face-lift, for her birthday. She spends $5000, and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news-stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 32,” is the reply.

“Nope! I’m exactly 47,” the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonald’s, and asks the counter girl, the very same question.

The girl replies, “I guess about 29.”

The woman replies, “Nope, I’m 47.”

Now she’s feeling really good, about herself. She stops in a drugstore, on her way down the street. She! goes up to the counter, to get some mints, and asks the clerk, this burning question.

The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.”

Again she proudly responds, “I am 47, but thank you.”

While waiting, for the bus to go home, she asks an old man, waiting next to her, the same question.

He replies, “Lady, I’m 78, and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way, to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you, to let me, put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”

They wait in silence on the empty street, until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, “What the heck, go ahead.”

He slips both of his hands, under her blouse, and under her bra, and begins to feel around, very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast. He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together, and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay, how old am I?”

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and says, “Madam, you are 47.”

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?”

The old man replies, “Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I promise I won’t.” she says.
-
-
-
-
-
He replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”