The Lord Does It For Me:

An 80 year old man went for his annual check-up and the Doctor said, "Friend, for your age, you're in the best shape I've seen."

The old fella replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know for sure that I live a good, clean, spiritual life."

The Doctor asks him, "What makes you say that?"

The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom lights on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night."

The Doc was concerned, "You mean, when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns the light on for you?"

"Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me."

Well, the Doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check-up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said. "Your husband's in fine physical shape, but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."

"He What?” She cried.

"He said that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."

"AHA!!" She exclaimed, "So he's the one who's been peeing in the fridge!"